


Saudade

by subito



Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - Irish 20th-21st c., Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: Child Death, M/M, Other, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-14
Updated: 2011-05-14
Packaged: 2017-10-19 09:29:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subito/pseuds/subito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The inspiration for this was the fact that they've both lost children.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saudade

The lounge music was too loud to be subtle, as were the chairs. David slung himself into one of them opposite George and William, who were happily chatting away. The red leather clashed violently with Williams pink tie and George looked very lost in his chair despite his height. These details, like the room temperature melting David’s ruddy cheeks into a more even complexion, were lost on the people present. The day had been long and mostly filled with numbers.

On rare occasions trips abroad could be fun but this hadn’t been one of them, David thaught. Someone offered him a drink and he passed it on to George, who flashed him a grateful smile. He’s had it rougher than everyone else that day. Bankers, politicians, journalists – everyone had wanted a piece of him; but that’s what you get when you’re the Chancellor of the Exchequer, there has been a banking crisis and you’re debating bailing out Ireland. There had been much debate and… David tries to push all of that aside for the evening.

Having William there with them was proving to be a blessing because he and George seemed to balance each other perfectly and, for once, it wasn’t David’s task to involve his friend in animated discussion.

About two hours passed and finally people started to leave. David hadn’t allowed himself more than one drink yet, always aware of his role and the attention paid to him, even or especially in other countries. He made his way to the bar, ordered, and pressed two fingers against the bridge of his nose while closing his eyes for a second. He really should go to bed soon.

As the liquid hit the tiny blocks of ice and glistened promisingly under the bar lights, David noticed that a glass with similar content was being passed down to a familiar face at the end of the bar. The person’s hands closed mechanically around the glass and he stared blankly at a point somewhere between it and its unfathomable bottom. If it was the haunted aura that made David come closer instead of turning away or the absolute stillness radiating from that person, David wouldn’t be able to say afterwards.

“Rough day?” David asked in a casual voice that failed to hide an underlying eagerness to know more. This prompted blue eyes to dart up and looking at David with caution.

“Isn’t it always?”, came the reply and David didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended about the obvious attempt to mirror his own opening words in the fine fashion of making small talk and saying absolutely nothing. He was about to make a joke about the weather but looking at into the other man’s face, David opted for realism rather than comedy.

“True, but this is a very testing situation. For you as much as for us, with that legacy we inherite..” David stopped mid-sentence because his companion had put up his hand. David took in the deepening shadows on his face and sensed that maybe he just didn’t want any company at all.

“Please, Mr Cameron.”

“David. Please call me David.”

“Not Dave?” the man asked with the hint of a mocking smile appearing at the corners of his mouth.

David gave a hearty laugh and was filled with a bit of pride about causing the man’s face to completely transform for a second, making him also aware of the beauty hidden beneath the stern mask.

“Only if you want to.”, David teased and those eyes looking at him lit up with interest.

“I think David suits you better.” He declared and extended his hand. “Micheál.”

“I know.” David said with a smile as he shook Micheál’s hand This earned him a more open but still guarded smile that spoke of exhaustion and didn’t quite reach the eyes.

“What I wanted to say, David”, Micheál said, picking up his earlier thought and emphasising David’s name, “is that I’d appreciate it if we could refrain from talking any more politics today.”

“Certainly.”

 

With a sigh, Micheál downed his drink in one swift movement and David wondered if he should just leave. But then the other man didn’t say another word and David finished his own drink while looking at the reflexions of the lights in the polished wood of the bar, drowning out the last of noises around him.

When David ordered another round of drinks for them, he felt Micheál’s hand on his forearm, causing David to look at him. “Thank you but I’m not exactly what you would call good company today.” That hint of sadness was back and darkening the blue to almost match the shade of black hair under sunlight. Before David realised what he was doing, he cupped Micheál’s hand with his own and said “You are good company. Believe me.”

It was a short moment of revelation for both of them. David not only seeing the emotions but recognising their source with a force that made him squeeze Micheál’s hand. And Micheál being able to feel that shift and the flow of unspoken information between them. Then the bartender cleared his throat and Micheál retracted his hand with a whispered “thank you”.

The time until their glasses were empty again passed with letting the cool drinks coat them from the inside, numbing at least some of their feelings, and drinking in each other’s silence. It was calming and good but it wasn’t enough. When Micheál opted to even the bill and get the next round, David stopped his hand from shooting up by lightly running a finger over the side and shaking his head. Micheál’s mouth opened as if he wanted to say something but then he just nodded. In a form of mutual understanding they made their way back Micheál’s room.

Inside, the lights were dimmed and when Micheál had loosened his tie, David pulled him into a hug, holding him tight until he felt the other man’s body relax against him. David’s hand stroked his back and his other hand found its way into Micheál’s soft hair. They stood like that for a while, just breathing and feeling the warmth of each other’s bodies. Then Micheál raised his head from where it had rested against David’s neck and placed one light kiss on David’s lips before withdrawing and walking over to the bed.

They undressed themselves bar their underwear on each side of the bed, in almost all absence of sound, light and time. There were only the metallic clicks of zips and the rustling of the duvet when they slipped under it. Micheál’s hand came to rest on David’s hip and David let his fingers feel the velvet hair again. Their foreheads connected as their eyes closed and for a long time that was all that happened.

Maybe they’d drifted off to sleep or it was the effect of their self-made time bubble but when they opened their eyes again, they hadn’t changed position and stared at each other, blue eyes into blue eyes, like a mirror, seeing themselves and their lives until David whispered “It never gets easier, does it?”

Micheál just shook his head and a warm tear fell too loudly through the nightly air onto the sheets. David kissed Micheál’s forehead and closed his eyes again because he too had started to cry. Micheál pulled him closer, one hand soothingly going up and down David’s side and the other ghosting over David’s hair. So they lay until they fell asleep again, quietly, wrapped in half-darkness and each other’s trust and comfort.

Because that what it was about. Even when they woke up again - Micheál face down and David pressed against him, with a hard-on that Micheál instinctively started to stroke through the fabric of the boxers – it was not about sex. Even when David’s mouth fell open and, without haste, he turned Micheál on his side to feel the man’s pulsing flesh. Even when they found a slow rhythm, rocking back and forth until there was too much heat and friction.

They drifted off again before it all turned into uncomfortable stickiness, arms touching in the middle of the bed.

The morning came too soon and they took their turns in the shower, five minutes each, David going first. And then, dressed to face the world again, they stood in front of the door, savouring the last moments before being confronted with too bright lights and too noisy people.

David laid his hand on the door handle but stopped when he heard Micheál speak. “It never gets easier”, he said in a gentle voice. “It only gets easier to pretend to yourself and everyone else that it does.” David had turned and taken a step towards Micheál, laying a hand on his shoulder.

“But when you don’t want to pretend and it all gets too much…“ , Micheál continued earnestly.

“…I know where to find you.” David finished his sentence. He closed his eyes and they leaned against each other for a last long moment. “Thank you.”, David said, whispered, almost and Micheál noded, taking a deep breath before breaking away and opening the door for them.


End file.
